Fit Villains: Selfish, Shameless, Sassy, Fitness.

I can’t stand high horses, and the people who sit upon them (and not because I’m only 5ft 2). I’m pro-people & it burns me up inside when I see others discouraged, hurt or shamed when trying so hard to make positive changes in their lives.

For the “your workout is my warm-up” crowd, I feel it’s necessary to point out that it’s kinda…well… a douche-y thing to say. (Even if true, why put anyone down?). Your “warm-up” probably used to be an intense workout for you too: we all don’t start out as athletes. How well you ‘perform’ is about fitness level, goals, time and training. Years. Effort. Sweat. And a little luck too. It has nothing to do with you being a ‘more awesome person’ in some fashion. Beginners often find this kind of attitude intimidating… and shouldn’t we be a bit more supportive? Beginnings are rough enough. (P.S- being fitter doesn’t make you superior to anyone else. You might be an improved YOU maybe, but you still poop).

For the “my workout is better than yours” crowd, a gentle reminder that not everyone works out with the same goals. Just because your goals are athletic, and hers might be just “having fun”, doesn’t make yours “better”. We also have different likes/dislikes/experiences/resources etc. Comparing apples and oranges. As long as someone’s moving, let them move. You do you. She does she. Focus on your own happy sweat, let her have hers.

For the “my lifestyle diet makes me a better person” crowd, a reality check. You are not your diet. She is not her diet. He is not his diet. We’re PEOPLE FIRST. We make choices. Your diet is a series of choices you make based on experiences you’ve had, likes/dislikes, circumstances, exposure, resources, opportunities etc. It does not make you a better person, even if it makes you feel better ABOUT yourself. Hey, I’m down with you making decisions for yourself that make you feel good. And shouting them from the rooftops (holla!). But there’s no need to put anyone down for THEIR choices while doing so. By all means, promote what you love. Putting others down = not necessary (and helps no one).

There’s a lot of subtle shaming & missed opportunities to INSPIRE that can be avoided by focusing on the positive, being more supportive of others, trying to understand and remembering we’re all on the same SIDE.

If you want healthier people…

1. Encourage rather than taunt.

2. Inspire rather than intimidate.

3. Show compassion, not disdain.

Let’s play nice(r).

xo

Can you relate?

One recurring theme I’ve noticed in talking with people who’ve either a) lost a lot of weight, and/or b) have made big lifestyle changes is that their relationships also change. Sometimes for the better (because we’ve unlocked our ‘awesome ’ and unleashed it on those near and dear). And sometimes, it’s still for the better, but the people we cherish may not be as receptive to our ‘awesome’ as we would have liked them to be. And that can be tough. And make us a little sad.

Sometimes friends can be unsupportive or hard to relate to anymore. Sometimes there’s tension with family members. Spouses may show signs of jealousy or anger at the new ‘you’. Many people may claim that you’ve “changed”, and occasionally, there may be hostility or negativity towards you or the changes you’ve made. (Not always, just sometimes: everyone’s got their own cheerleaders to fist pump along side them. If not, I’ll be your cheerleader, so that takes care of that).

I love the quote above, because another theme I see is how HAPPY people are with the changes they’ve made. They may feel more confident & alive. Most prefer this new version of themselves. In some ways, it feels like this is who they’ve been all along. Still, facing negativity surrounding your positive changes can be stressful and disheartening, even when you know you KNOW you’ve made the right decisions (and wouldn’t have it any other way).

Have you experienced relationship changes for the better? Or maybe have found yourself feeling less supported than you thought you’d be?

“David Shepherd, Travis Price and their teenage friends organized a high-school protest to wear pink in sympathy with a Grade 9 boy who was being bullied for wearing pink to school. They took a stand against bullying when they protested against the harassment of a new Grade 9 student by distributing pink T-shirts to all the boys in their school.

‘I learned that two people can come up with an idea, run with it, and it can do wonders,’ says Mr. Price, 17, who organized the pink protest. ‘Finally, someone stood up for a weaker kid.’

So Mr. Shepherd and some other headed off to a discount store and bought 50 pink tank tops. They sent out message to schoolmates that night, and the next morning they hauled the shirts to school in a plastic bag.

As they stood in the foyer handing out the shirts, the bullied boy walked in. His face spoke volumes. ‘It looked like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders,’ Mr. Price recalled.

The bullies were never heard from again.”

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