Oh boy. The big F.
Forgiveness is something I struggle with, but I’m learning to let go of the notion that to forgive is to excuse, to forget, or to welcome a person back into your life. I think we often grow up with the notion that to forgive is to ‘hug it out’ and suddenly try to go back to the way things were.
I see that a little differently now.
What happens to us is beyond our control, but how we respond to it, that we can affect. I struggle to use ‘control how we respond’, because that’s not always possible, and sometimes too much to ask. For me, my trauma left me with P.T.S.D (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), a condition that left me feeling very much out of control. But while I couldn’t control the often paralyzing emotion, lack of energy, self-deprecating thoughts, crying & flashbacks, I COULD control the treatment I sought to help dig myself out of it.
Oh, I hate talking about these things, but this girl’s having an emotional day, so why not.
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Big, mad love to those in Hawaii & BC who may be affected in the aftermath. Hoping to hear from a few friends who haven’t yet returned my calls. :(
Thoughts, love & light to those in aftermath hell in Japan right now. Hundreds (soon thousands) dead & the toll will rise. Thinking of them.
xoxo
