Fit Villains: Selfish, Shameless, Sassy, Fitness.

You’ll notice I never post the quote ‘real women have curves’. 

Sometimes, I get it posted to my wall or shared via message. While I love the discussions and motivation it can provide for some, it’s not my thing. I can’t post it. It’s a popular mantra used by many body lovin’ peeps, but personally, I find it anything but body lovin’. (A similar one is the “where would you put your hands” mantra above. Gross).

The idea that a woman needs to meet certain extrinsic criteria to be considered ‘real’ is ridiculous. And just as damaging to us all. But the thing that gets me most is that these mantras aren’t coming from men, but from women. Often body lovin’, lady power women.

The thing is, it’s a great mantra if you’re curvy and angry about feeling pressure to be anything different. The pressure is there, for everyone, and it deserves our anger. But if you’re not so curvy (and may or not be trying to be), that mantra is a HUGE slap in the face. Women have enough pressure on them: we don’t need to be comparing each other or knocking each other down. 

Real Women Have Curves. Ugh. Consider how the opposite would sound: “Real women are lean, skinny and perfect”. Uproar, right? 

There are plenty of ways to love your body and declare how awesome you think it is (and i love that shit: do it as much as you can!). But there’s NO need to put others down, separate us, or fuel the notion that being ‘real’ comes down to what we LOOK like. 

Real women are ‘women’. Just women. They are mothers and not mothers. Daughters. Aunts. Grandmas. They’ve had their uteruses removed. They’ve had plastic surgery. They are skinny. Lean. Muscled. They are curvy. Chubby. Short. Tall. Volumptuous. They may have square hips, broad shoulders and little to no boobs at all. And they are just as real as anyone else. 

The only criteria to define a woman as ‘real’ should be that she identifies as such. 

The UK has seen an unprecedented increase in butt implants, breast implants and hip implants from women seeking to attain those desirable curves, with the number one ‘inspiration’ being Christina Hendricks. Fitness models, who may be less busty due to lower body fat percentages, are almost expected to have implants to maintain feminine features on stage. Loving curves is bad ass and awesome. But there is NOTHING wrong with you if you’re less curvy than the standard being pushed. You are real. I promise, lol. 

Here’s an excerpt from a great post: (Warning: NSFW photo and swearing).

“Ultimately, instead of trying to balance the scale between what’s reasonable and unreasonable to be expected of us, we need to step off the scale completely. Proclaiming to the world “real women have curves” is just as detrimental as the message it’s opposing. Real women have traits, personalities, characters, and all things that constitute living individuals. And the fact is, every trait I use to define myself as a woman, is the same trait that someone else would use against the same argument. 

So here’s an idea and a challenge: let’s stop trying to validate women based on their curves or lack thereof. Or facial hair for that matter. Or boney arms. Or flat feet. Or muffin tops. Or frizzy hair. Or pale skin. Or whatever it is that doesn’t satisfy our delusional expectations of what it means to be a woman. Let’s have the nerve to question what the word “real” means for people who feel entitled enough to use it. Let’s have the nerve step naked in front of a mirror, like what we see, and admit it. Most of all, let’s have the nerve to not give a fuck about what people say or think about our appearances.; because if you ask me, it doesn’t get more real than that.”

Read more.