Does anyone else get bogged down on their dashboards with people responding to negative comments from their Ask box?
Usually, I ignore it. But a few comments (and the responses to them) bothered me today. Internet bullying is a hot topic and some of the messages are just that: outright bullying. But I don’t want to address the bullies: they’ve each got their own set of issues that makes what they do somehow ”important” to their sense of self. Instead, I want to help those who receive those comments deal with them more appropriately (and help them let it go). No one deserves to have their day ruined by an insecure person who likes to bring people down. And because MANY of these comments deal with body image (and subsequently body love), it’s important that we learn how to hold our heads a little higher.
3 things to keep in mind.
When someone makes a nasty comment about someone else’s body, they are revealing their own insecurity. Occasionally, there may be real concern involved, but someone who actually cares about you would never call you ”disgusting”.
When someone needs to name-call in order to prove their point, they are revealing their own inability to support that point.
When someone puts someone else down, they are revealing that they feel so badly about themselves that they needed to lower you to raise themselves up.
It can be upsetting to get nasty comments & feedback via the interwebs, but it’s even more upsetting to me to see those comments & feedback responded to.
It bothers me for 2 reasons:
1. Because I sympathize. I totally understand that sudden feeling & that need to respond and it breaks my heart.
2. The comments are ONLY given validity in the response to them. Not in the sending of them. The moment you respond, you’re letting them know their comment mattered enough to be responded to.
One of the easiest ways to ”let it go” is to try to figure out what the person is actually revealing: it is NEVER about you. When someone sends you a comment or message you don’t like, it’s ALL about them. And the nastier the comment, the sadder their situation. Someone who is secure, feels loved and has nothing to prove, simply wouldn’t bother - they’ve got better things to do.
You can’t control other people or their opinions/reactions. You CAN control how you respond. And how you respond says a lot about YOU. Choosing to ignore the comments & delete them from your inbox (and brain) is taking a much higher road than dignifying their garbage with a response. It’s tempting to respond, I know. That’s how they get to you. But in responding, you are simply letting them win. There is nothing that a nasty person likes more than watching people squirm, no matter how good your points are, how much you have to say, or how victorious you feel afterwards.
Simply put: if they have nothing better to do than to put negativity out in the world? Feel sorry for them. Then move on. They aren’t worth YOUR time.
Afterall, YOU’ve got better things to do.