Fit Villains: Selfish, Shameless, Sassy, Fitness.

I don’t head to the gym much (I’m an at-home workout QUEEN) but when I do, I usually love it. Going to the gym makes me giddy! I feel like a 5 year old at a playground filled with lots of toys, and I play really hard. Sometimes, I play so hard that I barely notice what’s going on around me: I’m wrapped up in my own fantasy world of squat domination, running from Zombies on the treadmill and saving the world with deadlifts - all to thunderous “applause” in my head.

Aside from fit-fantasy, I feel safe at the gym: I’m around my ‘people’. Fellow fitties who’ve all come together to play and get sweaty all innocent-like. But occasionally, like real playgrounds, skeezy people lurk around the gym. Not everyone is there to get their ‘fit’ on.  And today I met a BIG skeeze who needed to be taught a lesson.

There I was, squatting, lunging and burpee-ing away, when I looked up and caught a creep taking pics of me while pretending to be texting on his phone. He wasn’t really that great an actor: most people don’t text like they’re holding up a map. But still… I had no idea how long he was snapping away, and knew I’d been too focused on my “play” to have noticed anyways. I was super sweaty, had been bending over, and was certainly NOT at my most classy. The nerve.

My inner tigress was fuming. I really, REALLY wanted to punch him, start screaming from the rooftops or shove his phone in a less than desirable place but previous experience has taught me that…

1. Usually that gets me in trouble. Even if they deserve it.

2. Pissing off the person with cell phone pics of your butt isn’t the best way to keep those pics from being shared and…

3. Extreme emotion (any of them, good or bad) causes my face to leak, and I didn’t want to cry in front of this douchebag. (Note: I don’t think anything’s wrong with crying, but when you’re an ugly cryer like me, you need to pick your time & place accordingly).

After a few seconds of sheer, utter, FURY, I calmed down and walked over. I decided that what I wanted was to keep my cool… AND get those pictures AWAY from the creep-o.

I walked over and took satisfaction in the look of terror on his face. I could tell he was scared: he was expecting to get chewed out and I could already see signs of cocky ‘puffed’ out chest. He was preparing for a fight. Instead, I threw him for a loop and played ‘nice’. I (ugh) smiled. I asked to see the pics: not in a bad way, but more out of curiosity. I flirted a little, and made comments about them, laughing the whole thing off. He relaxed after a few minutes of being reassured that I wasn’t going to flip out and allowed me to browse through his phone, looking at the MANY pics he had taken. I almost threw up in my mouth, but I kept my cool. I was on a mission.

After a minute or two, I asked for his number (I used my ‘I’m a trainer’ line) and handed him my phone to put it in. The moment he had it, I proceeded to delete EVERYTHING (I mean everything - ALL his photos/videos) off his phone. It took less than 7 seconds, and I ‘pretended’ to be loving the pics he had, even asking him to send me copies. There were tons of me, but clearly it was a habit of his. I was pretty sure most of the girls on his phone had no idea they were being creeped, so I took great pride in deleting their photos too. Still smiling, I gave him his (empty) phone back, said goodbye, then walked up to the front desk. Using the phone number he gave me, I was able to  file a complaint against him and demanded he be banned. The thought of seeing him again made my blood boil.

UPDATE: He WAS banned from the gym. Yay!

Final Score: Chichi Kix: 1  Creepy Dude: 0

I’m CHOOSING to believe that he took pics to learn some new moves, but I DON’T want to think about his post-workout routine. EW.

Moral: be careful ladies! They weren’t horrible photos, but he’d already taken a dozen or so BEFORE I noticed him. Not every gym has creeps, and it’s not a reason to stay away from the gym. But take a moment to scan your surroundings, and if you notice anything less than savory, speak up. I love having my phone with me, but the pervs of the world offer yet ANOTHER reason to ban them in gyms. Ick.

Share! Anyone have a similar story?