“Girls and women of the world, could we stop apologizing for wanting and eating food? Because this is one of the most ridiculous things that we do collectively as lady-people, and not only does it annoy the shit out of me personally, but it is also INCREDIBLY SAD. Could we stop feeling “guilty” for wanting an effing brownie? Or a plate of fries? Could we stop actively seeking permission from our friends to go ahead and “be bad” and order the cheesecake? Could we all just go ahead and order whatever it is that we feel like eating, instead of saying, “Oh, I feel like a pig, you guys are just getting salads”?
Because—now I know this will come as a shock—WOMEN EAT. We get hungry. We get hungry for pizzas and Double Stuf Oreos and nachos and ice cream and giant French-toast breakfasts, and you know what? WE DON’T NEED TO FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT.
”—an excerpt from this beautiful article that everyone should read (x)
just wanted to congratulate you on your awesome leg pistol! I saw the pic and was like "psh that aint hard. i do yoga." um. i almost broke my face. and whole body. you're amazing AND your blog is a great inspiration, thanks and keep it up!
Thanks! It takes most people a long time to work up to them, even seasoned exercisers. It’s a lot of balance, control and flexibility. I still struggle on my right side (working on my ankle flexibility helps), but it’s getting better and better. From the time I started actively working on them to my first left pistol was about 6-8 months. My right took another 3-4, and it’s still hard.
If you’re trying to work on them, try the chair pistol progression I posted. It really helped me long term, and is still quite difficult to do! If you can do getups (or rollups/rollbacks) easily, you can also try a candlestick roll: the momentum helps considerably and works the right muscles to make pistols easier over time. G’luck!
I don’t know what prompted you to send me the dumbest message I’ve received in at least 6 months, but nowhere in the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition of “fitness” do I find the word “skinny.” Even synonyms for the word “fitness” focus 100% on health attributes as opposed to size attributes. So I’m sorry if you have this deep seeded complex that refuses to allow you to accept that, from all standpoints of medicine, science, and flat out fact, fitness is irrelevant to body size. That really sucks for you that your brain is struggling to let you come to terms with that. However, it is also 100% not my problem.
I want to start off saying that you are amazing and I look up to you! :) but I wanted to know what you thought about diet pills like hydroxycut?
I don’t promote, recommend or endorse any weight loss pills, supplements or shakes. Or diets. Healthier overall choices, occasional treats, adequate sleep, regular exercise and a good dose or reality/love are all most people need to live healthier lives, weight loss or no. :)
Not a question, but just wanted to say thank you for promoting the notion that feeling beautiful doesn't come at someone else's expense and that different isn't bad; it's simply different. May we all realize we are as awesome as you know you are.
I'm not trying to offend you. But this #closethethighgap shit is really a load of bull, people who want thigh gaps are usually people with eating disorders, saying that, eating disorders and mental illnesses and they can't help it!
Thigh gaps are heavily promoted by the pro-ana community, it’s true, but they are hardly exclusive to it: amongst teens, young women and increasingly women in their 40’s and 50’s, thigh gaps are becoming one of the most requested body “wants”. As a trainer, thigh gaps are increasingly something requested by clients, with or without body image issues, body dysmorphia or a history of eating disorders - those that do display symptoms (other than simply wanting a thigh gap) are often given a referral and resources to get help. But the vast majority of people I “help” with their thigh gap pre-occupation do not qualify or would not qualify as having an eating disorder. Negative body image, possibly. But not a disordered relationship with food or obsessive thoughts about consumption.
Eating disorders are VERY complicated: they are not defined by wanting a particular body part, being somewhat unsatisfied with one’s body (as studies suggest most women are) or even just wanting to lose weight (in which case 99% of women would have qualified at one point or another). There’s far more to it. Wanting a thigh gap does not mean you have an eating disorder: most people who express a desire for thigh gaps are perhaps misinformed, maybe suffer from poor body image, and may be too exposed to images that promote them. Very few of them have or will go on to have eating disorders, though it is something that’s common with many sufferers.
The point of the #closethethighgap campaign (which was crazy successful!) was to promote the idea that you can be healthy, fit, lean, muscled, thin, large, curvy, or any other body “adjective” you can think of and still have OR not have a thigh gap. It’s designed to confront the myth surrounding thigh gaps, explain that it’s predominantly a question of genetics and not something you can attain through exercise and diet alone. It’s an issue for many women, not just those with eating disorders, and the response has been incredibly positive for female body image (and likewise, there are many women suffering from eating disorders who do not want a thigh gap either. No assumptions: we’re all different). If you’ve been following me for a long time, you’d know that I post nothing but body image friendly posts, talk about ED very often, share resources, tips, and promote mental & emotional health, right along with physical health. Thigh gaps are a very big issue amongst women, young and old, with or without eating disorders (and both groups deserve honest information about gaps, including reasons why they are not a realistic goal to be chasing).
What I might suggest (to everyone really) is reading up on some of ED symptoms here and avoiding making assumptions or generalizations based on personal experience (not everyone will share it) or misinformation. The National Eating Disorder Association has a great website filled with resources, facts and answers to some hard questions. Highly recommend. :)
Hi and thanks for your incredibly awesome blog :) I've started going to the gym this year and felt in love with Lesmills Bodyflow and then with Bodycombat. I really need a collective class to workout, alone on a machine I give up easily. I want to add some Bodypump too but my boyfriend (who is a former fencing athlete and who thus I trust more than myself who never really did sport before) is worried that 1h45 of each class a week (thus 5h30 in total) is too much. What do you think ?
It’s highly individual and depends on your likes, goals and the feedback you get from your body! If you like the classes, stick with them! But there’s no need to go crazy with the volume. Personally, for me, that’s a lot and not necessary: the more intense my workouts, the shorter they are and the more rest days I take (my workouts are rarely over 30 minutes, and I train 4-5 times a week). But someone training for a marathon or a competition may log in more hours: depends on why you’re training and your individual perceived effort/intensity. Note that people training for marathons often have to incorporate recovery, eat higher amounts and don’t often train every day.
If you’re doing this from a weight loss/body changing perspective, it’s not necessary. You may want to boost the intensity of the classes you’re already doing and give yourself more recovery days (something gentle like yoga or a walk helps). Overtraining has the same effect on the body as starvation mode when it comes to fat loss, muscle cannibalization and stress, with the added threat of injury: an occasional big week might be better than training at that intensity all the time. Sometimes women are surprised that doing less actual means faster and better aesthetic and performance results: the body needs time to recover and if we keep working it hard, it never gets it.
Make sure you’re eating enough to support the increase in training, sleeping well and taking adequate rest days to recharge. Listen to your body: if you feel fatigued, moody, over sore, are injured, feeling stressed, seeing a decline in performance or otherwise don’t feel GOOD, take a step back.
Chichi!! I wish you all the best in your recovery, you're a badass girl and will pull through this. I actually don't have a question just wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts and thank you for all of your posts, when I'm starting to view myself as a pile of imperfections, I glimpse one of your posts in my tumblr feed and makes me take a step back and a analyze my destructive thoughts. Love you. All the best, from Mexico.
Thanks so much! It really means a lot to me & reading everyone’s well wishes has been a wonderful treat and vital to my recovery.
Feeling better and hoping to be up and running soon! I’m doing the best I can, but it’s HARD, lol. One day at a time. :)
Instead of saying sex is ugly, why not say that sex is not glamorous? js
I was speaking more aesthetically (grunty, sweaty, messy hair, makeup smears, weird body positions, unflattering angles) as it was pertaining to the illusion of sex and sex appeal we see with events like the VS show. Just semantics. Sex can be unglamourous, beautiful, magical, awful, funny, glorious and hella ugly. Just semantics. You can choose whatever words you like. :)
Victoria Secret Fashion Show Body Image Survival Guide! 10 Rules For Managing Tonight's Show...
I’m not watching tonight. Just not my thing. But you might watch or want to watch. It might be your thing.
I’m not all that personally bothered by it, nor am I worried about it affecting my self-esteem or body image (I work too hard to maintain it and keep it strong like bull). That said, there are plenty of you watching tonight who might not feel the same way or who might not feel awesome about your bods after the show. So here are a few things to keep in mind, whether you choose to watch or not.
10. HONOR YOURSELF. If it bothers you, don’t watch it. You control your environment, not the other way around. The moment something feels bad, don’t do it. Likewise, if you LIKE it, watch it. Have a good time. You don’t need to defend yourself, feel guilty or bad about it. Do your thing.
9. LISTEN CAREFULLY. If you find yourself starting to make negative comments about YOUR body, HER body, WOMEN’S bodies in general? STOP WATCHING. This is a sign that there’s more going on. Turn it off, watch something else, read a book (or come vent here!). You don’t need it.
8. SOCIAL MEDIA SUCKS DURING AWARDS SHOWS. Avoid Twitter. Like. The. Plague. Fashion/awards show body shaming is rampant, even amongst well meaning ladies and gents. The more we normalize criticizing other women’s bodies, the more we accept that it’s okay and RIGHT to criticize our own. The more body criticisms you expose yourself too, the more normalized they become.
7. REMEMBER IT’S AN ELABORATE ILLUSION. A lot of work goes into VS fashion show bodies and the show itself. A TON. An army of experts are called in: hundreds of people working on everything from technical, design, to wardrobe, makeup, hair etc. Even the models are selected very carefully: they don’t represent your average body (OR EVEN YOUR AVERAGE MODEL BODY, lol). There’s lighting, camera angles and flashy flash all designed to minimize flaws, hide imperfections and deliver a SHOW. This is a show. Not even remotely close to real life. Treat it like a cartoon if it helps.
6. WATCH YOUR EYEBALL TIME. Avoid idolizing, ripping down or obsessing over the bodies you see. The more time you spend oogling images during and after the show, the greater odds you have of feeling less than adequate. Science. Plus, you have better things to do, right? Go do that. Admiration is fine, but only takes a second. If you find yourself spending more time than that on other women’s bodies, you’re being boring.
5. REAL SEX IS UGLY. WHAT THEY ARE SELLING ISN’T ACTUAL SEX. There is a BIG difference between the “sex appeal” being sold, and actual, real, sex appeal. Really awesome sex is ugly, messy, and most partners won’t remember what you were wearing before. It also has a lot more to do with confidence than accessories. What’s being sold isn’t sexuality but the idea of a sexualized female object and conformity to a set of ideals that have little to do with real life attraction and bamchickawahwah. Keep it in check. (most men like to keep things simple. The more buttons and clasps it has, the more terrifying it is, lol).
4. DON’T HATE ON THE MODELS. Don’t like the show and what it stands for? That’s cool. Talk about it. But don’t take it out on the models. Tearing HER down does nothing to help raise us all up, ya know? (plus…. real women, all of them). And making light of eating disorders, “eat a cheeseburger” talk and calling them fake doesn’t help matters. In fact, it hurts us all so much more. Refer to #10. If you find yourself in a hatin’ mood, read this instead: “Why Women Love To Hate On Victoria Secret Models” by Erin Brown http://fitmamatraining.com/why-women-love-to-hate-victorias-secret-models/. If you’re still irked, read the follow up: http://fitmamatraining.com/we-are-on-the-same-team/. If you’re still bothered, don’t watch.
3. REMEMBER, THESE AREN’T YOUR AVERAGE WOMEN OR AVERAGE BODIES. And even though they haven’t been “photoshopped”, doesn’t mean that every trick in the book hasn’t been used to “perfect” them on camera. Only very specific bodies and body types are chosen to represent the line, types that represent about 3% of the actual population. Then there’s hair extensions, makeup (face AND body. Layers and layers and layers), duct tape, weeks or months of dieting/working out, spray tans, glitter and more. (some of these women look very weird in person, but great on the runway. No point comparing. They will NOT wake up looking like that tomorrow). AFTER THAT, there’s lighting, camera angles and flashy flash all designed to minimize flaws, hide imperfections and deliver a SHOW. Victoria’s Secret model Selita Ebanks once put it, “It’s all about creating the illusion of this amazing body on the runway. People don’t realize that there are about 20 layers of makeup on my butt alone.” Angel Adriana Lima famously disclosed her Fashion Show diet a few years back: no solid food in the nine days leading up to the taping and no water in the 12 hours before. Sexy.
All the exercise and diet in the world will NOT help you look like them. Just like all the exercise and diet in the world will not help them look like you. And that’s okay.
2. ASK YOURSELF WHAT’S REALLY BEING SOLD. Remember, this isn’t really a retail show. Or a show for new items meant to purchase, wear or promote. Most of the underwear being shown is actually quite ridiculous and completely impractical to wear in real life (3D printed wings?). Artistic and fun? Sure. Meant for consumption? Nope. It’s okay to like the show for entertainment purposes. Just know what’s up, cool? What’s being sold isn’t fashion or art first.. And it’s not a secret.
1. Re-read #10. It’s worth repeating. If you like it, watch. If you don’t, don’t. But if you CHOOSE to watch, make sure you know what you’re consuming, how it affects your own sense of self, how it impacts your own body image and how much energy you invest into it. If it doesn’t serve you, don’t engage.